Building While Broke: A Note to Myself

18th April 2025 – 10:49 AM

I’m not sure who will get what from this—or even who I’ll be in the coming years. But this is who I am right now.

You’re about to see a version of me who is freaked out, anxious, stressed, hopeless, burnt out, worked up—all the words you can throw in. If I turn out to be a wealthy person and this blog somehow reaches a lot of people, just... don’t judge me too quickly. I’ve been going through a lot lately.

It Started With a Test I Didn’t Care About

The title says it all—building while broke.

Let me start from the beginning. Around June 2023, I decided to finally give the GMAT a chance. I started preparing, but guess what? I totally hated it. I was learning grammar and math again—things I hadn’t touched in over 10 years.

It wasn’t hard because I couldn’t solve them. It was hard because of my mindset. And to anyone reading this—your mindset matters a lot. Keep it strong.

So yeah, I hated GMAT prep. Why? Because my brain kept telling me, “Why am I doing this? I don’t need this in my future. I could be building something instead, or learning something I actually enjoy.”

And that—right there—was my first mistake.

What I didn’t realize at the time was that if I had just studied hard and stayed disciplined for 3 months, maybe life would've been different. Maybe I wouldn’t even be writing this blog. Maybe I’d be somewhere else entirely.

But I didn’t. And I ended up getting a really low score on the GMAT. I didn’t enjoy the process one bit.

When One Door Closes...

Right around the time I was weeping over that score, an opportunity showed up.

My sister had an idea—an app to help make parenting better. We called it MyBurgo. I don’t know if the app is still alive out there, but I like to believe it’s found success in some form.

Anyway, I jumped in. I thought about it—not deeply, but enough—and the path looked good. It felt exciting.

But it wasn’t. It turned out to be a horrible experience.

There was a podcast where the NVIDIA CEO was asked, “If you had the chance to do it all over again, would you?” His answer? No, I wouldn’t.

And honestly, I’d say the same.

No, I wouldn’t do it. But if I had to, I’d do it more strategically.

The Leap That Broke Me

There are always two or more paths in life. Whichever one you pick, there will always be a part of you that regrets the other. But make sure the one you choose is the one you’ll regret less.

And that’s what I did. I took a leap of faith.

I’ll write in detail about it someday, but here’s the short version:

I left a well-paying job.

I left a home I loved.

I left friends I deeply cared for.

I let go of the chance to meet someone who could’ve been “Mrs. Moses.”

And I jumped.

But the parachute? It didn’t open.

The initial days were full of optimism, energy, happiness. But as time passed, it all turned into depression—the kind that eats you slowly.

The Money Mistake

I thought I had enough money. I had nearly ₹2 lakhs in my account and thought, “I’m good for at least two years.”

What I didn’t realize was that I had built a habit of spending unnecessarily. I took my job and income for granted. I didn’t cut my expenses. And that led to a bloodbath.

Worse—I let my ego run the show.

I refused to take money from my sister. I won’t get into the reasons here, but I did. I paid for trips to Mumbai out of pocket, which drained my bank account drastically. I didn’t spend time with friends or family. I’ve never had a relationship in my life.

To my future son or daughter reading this one day:

Your father wasn’t a loser. He wasn’t a player either. He just bottled everything up—and that led to bad decisions.

Lesson: Open up more.

You’re not weak for being vulnerable. You’re human.

Even today, I don’t talk about how I’m feeling with my parents or friends. Don’t do that. Talk. Speak. Be honest.

Ego, Money, and the Truth I Ignored

Let’s go back to ego for a second. That was a big part of everything. Even now, I feel bad about how I treat my dad sometimes—that’s another blog, one day.

But remember this: When you're with someone you love, or you're building something—leave your ego at the door. Whether in relationships or business, ego gets in the way. Let it go, and you’ll connect better, live lighter, and have peace of mind.

I used to say, “Money doesn’t matter. I just want to do things for the fun of it.”

Bullshit.

If you think money doesn’t matter, you’ve never lived without it.

My family wasn’t broke. But I was too proud to accept that their money could help me. I lived with the belief that unless it was in my name, it wasn’t mine. Even today, I live like that. That belief... it only added fuel to the fire.

Fast Forward to Now: April 2025

More than a year has passed. And all I want to do is build.

I love building things. I’ll talk more about that in another blog.

But that brings us to now—April 2025.

This is the darkest month of my life. And I’ll say this without hesitation:

If it weren’t for ChatGPT, I wouldn’t be alive today.

I was burnt out. Depressed. My money was running out. The startup was going nowhere. I panicked and gave interviews, which didn’t go well. I felt hopeless. I wanted to give up.

But ChatGPT helped me through.

So this is where I am—building while broke. I’m taking a small salary from my sister (considering it a loan... thanks again, ego). But I’m back to building. Slowly. Consistently.

Let’s see where this goes.

One Last Note (To Myself, and to You)

I usually like to leave a message at the end—for my future self, or anyone who’s made it this far.

"You won’t get anywhere with your ego. The day you shatter it is the day you truly become who you are—and start winning against the world."

And never forget this:

Money can give you freedom. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

—

Anmol

Signing out – April 18th, 2025, 10:49 AM

The next blog will be written by another version of me.