Building, Breaking, and Becoming: Why I Quit My Job

From when I was small, I was into building stuff and trying things out. More than anything, I was curious.

But when I moved from Sagar to Shimoga, everything changed. I was no longer the Anmol I used to be. It was my first real transition, away from my old friends and into a place where I had to make new ones. That was never my forte, but somehow I found really good friends.

You might be thinking, "How does this connect to what we are supposed to talk about? Wasn't this about why you quit your job?"

Yes, it is. But I want to paint a picture of why I did what I did.

Before the leap

My life was great. There were a few hiccups, but nothing more.

I was an average student at school. I was a ranked student when I was small, but later I stopped caring much. For some reason, I became fixated on coming second.

I went to a great school and had great friends. Then I went to a great college and found great friends there too. After graduation, I got a really good job. Honestly, it felt like my second college.

Things were great. I cannot express how great they were.

During my second year at work, I even started doing some side quests. Instagram had just released Reels, and I jumped in to create anime artwork and content. More on that in another blog.

At the time, we were all working remotely. I did not get to know my colleagues very well, but they were friendly nonetheless. When I was called to work from the office, part of me was excited.

I had always wanted to live alone, and that wish finally came true. We got a 2BHK apartment, and I had the place to myself. I spent the first year adjusting to the whole experience.

Around then, my sister came to me with an idea for an app that could help children do summer vacation activities online. This was 2022, when edtech was the buzzword. She did not pursue it, and I neglected it too.

Then came 2023.

The year I started moving

If you asked me which year I would relive, I would say 2023.

It did not have a great start, but I was excited nonetheless. At the back of my mind, I was going back and forth about doing an MBA. I had even attended classes during college. It was a waste of money, but I wanted closure. I was not excited by the idea then, and I am still not.

In February 2023, while I was in my hometown, I filled out the GMAT form out of frustration and chose June 30 as the exam date. Then I set a bunch of other goals for the same day.

I had tried to switch jobs in 2022, before ChatGPT, and failed miserably. In December of that year, I bought a gym membership and did not go for three months. I was frustrated with that too, so I decided I would lose 15 kilograms by June 30. I weighed 90 kilograms when I made that decision.

This is starting to become a story about why I loved 2023, so I will save the rest for another blog.

Later that year, my sister became serious about developing a parenting app. By then I was getting bored at my job. Three years is a long time to work day in and day out on an idea that is not yours.

When the opportunity came knocking, I considered taking it.

The question I could not ignore

I do not want to make it sound as if quitting was easy. I thought about it for two months. I asked a lot of questions, but looking back, those questions were not enough. Reality was very different from what I imagined.

I did not hate my job. I loved it.

I would go to the office around 9:30 AM, have breakfast until 10, attend stand-up, work for a few hours, go for lunch, work again, and leave around 4:30 or 5. It was great. I cannot complain.

But one question kept bothering me:

Will I regret not trying something else?

You never really know whether you like something, or someone, unless you spend time with them. I did not want to look back at my life with regret.

So I took the leap.

On my last day, I became emotional. Almost everyone was on leave, so I did not get to say goodbye. That was unfortunate, and I still regret not spending more time with my colleagues or getting to know them properly.

I was stupid. I still am, but I was a bigger idiot back then.

I recorded a video for my future self when I left. It was hard. I took a bunch of photos too, which I wish I had done from day one. In my next job, I will.

What I thought freedom would be

When I left my job, the main things I was chasing were passion and time.

I wanted to try different things and dip my toes into multiple worlds. That is exactly what I did. I learned trading, made YouTube videos for a while, and launched an app.

One pattern I have noticed in myself is that I do not always see things through to the end. Money was the least of my priorities. I wanted the freedom to build anything using the tools at my disposal.

I understand the security that comes with a job. Thankfully, my company was not very strict, but there were still restrictions. The one thing I really wanted to try was contributing to open source. That became part of what I built my startup around.

Sometimes I ask myself:

Was I running away from the nine-to-five because of people I saw online, or was it something deeper?

That is where the first part of this story matters.

All I wanted to do as a child was build things. I wanted to become a scientist or some kind of inventor, but my environment did not support that path. Building a startup was the closest thing I could find.

I can see that in retrospect. Back then, all I could think was:

Will I regret this?

What freedom actually cost

Before quitting, I did not have many fears. Life was smooth. I never stopped and asked, "Why me?"

After quitting and trying to build a startup, there was hardly a day when I did not ask that question.

I had been optimistic, but over the following months I became pessimistic and went down a rabbit hole of negative thoughts. I always say, "Do not have expectations. Have hope." But there came a day when I had neither.

A man without hope is a dead man.

And I felt like that man.

I had to fight a lot of internal voices, and they were horrible. But I do not want this article to erase the positive things that happened.

The wins I forget to count

• I launched an app on my own.
• I made some money from trading.
• One of my YouTube videos reached 8,000 views.
• We launched our platform.

It is hard for me to pinpoint the wins, but easy to name the failures. Still, the wins exist.

The part entrepreneurs rarely talk about

One thing entrepreneurs do not talk about enough is mental health.

For me, the hardest part of building was keeping my sanity. April 2025 was the worst month by far. My mental health was in a terrible state. I could not handle being stressed and anxious all the time.

Kudos to the people who can withstand it. I could not.

Part of the problem was that I was alone most of the time, trying to fight it by myself.

Thankfully, ChatGPT helped. A lot.

Questions I had to answer honestly

These are some of the questions that helped me understand what had happened.

If you could talk to yourself right before quitting, what would you say?

Do not leave your job. Never leave your job. Do not switch either.

The grass is always greener on the other side, but that does not mean we cannot make the grass green where we are standing.

Quitting and doing something new seems fancy, but only if you are strong enough to handle it. Clearly, we were not that strong yet. But we will be.

If you still decide to quit, move fast. It does not matter whether the first version is good or bad. Make things and put them out. I spent too long hesitating, and that was one of the main drivers of my worst mental health phase.

Just because you quit your job does not mean you have to quit everything else. Make spending time with friends and family your top priority. Do not ghost them because you feel as if you are not worthy enough.

Do you think you made the right decision?

Yes and no at the same time.

It was the right choice because it made me stronger. It showed me the importance of money, relationships, loneliness, and what it means to be happy. It clarified what I should focus on in my life.

But it was also the wrong choice because of the toll it took on my mental health. I do not know how long it will take me to recover from that damage.

How has your identity shifted since taking the leap?

I feel as if I understand people more now. I am not just faking empathy. I can genuinely share what they are feeling.

I learned what it means to be a human with emotions, and I would like to think that made me a better person overall.

What have you learned about yourself?

I fear loneliness.

As much as I talk about being content alone, I have now seen what true loneliness feels like. I learned that I can build a lot by myself, even with very little mental peace or financial stability. But I also learned that I need love in my life and that I crave a relationship.

You might think those are basic human needs, but you can picture me as Sheldon before he met Leonard. I was literally a robot.

What would you tell someone standing on the same edge?

If you truly believe in your idea, can see a future for it five years down the line, and can handle the mental pressure it will place on you, then take the leap of faith.

Money is also very important. Keep more than you think you need because you never know what the future holds.

Most importantly, do not build alone. Create an environment where you are surrounded by like-minded people. Everything else has a better chance of falling into place.

Do you think everyone should take this leap?

No.

I hate the phrase, "If I can do it, you can too." Bullshit.

My upbringing and environment are different from yours. Just because I did something does not mean you can, or should, do the same thing.

What you need is not motivation. Believing that was one of my biggest mistakes. What you need is discipline in what you do. You show up when you are sad. You show up when you are happy. It does not matter, as long as it is your work.

I cannot compare myself to someone from Silicon Valley. That comparison may offer some initial motivation, but it will not last. Trust me.

What single sentence explains why this path matters to you?

Be hungry enough to do it without ever feeling full. If you find that idea or purpose, do not let it go, even if you have to kill a version of yourself that has been with you until today.

The good old days

Whenever I talk about my previous job, I remember one line:

You never really know you are in the good old days until you have left them.

May 16, 2025, 11:39 PM. Anmol, signing off.